I’m learning that…
Letting go of expectations may be the most freeing thing ever!
I can say Thank You when someone pays me a compliment. Not Thank you, but…just Thank You.
Letting go of old patterns doesn’t always happen overnight.
I can ask the Universe for something that I want, and I’ll get it. Just be careful what you wish for…
Even though I may no longer be in contact with someone, I can still have an impact on them.
I’m kind of having fun with this online dating. I’m having interesting conversations and meeting some nice people. I don’t respond to all the e-mails, especially ones like this…”Hi. I am Peter new at this site here you? You are pretty hot. Wanna chat?” especially when he sent the same message when I first joined the site about a month ago.
Every day, I’m learning something new.
All kinds of goodies from Kolleen H
Yes its February and I’m just now sharing my Word of the Year. But it seems appropriate to do so now since I received my word bracelet from Kolleen yesterday and I was reminded why I chose this word.
I grew up a little too fast. My parents divorced when I was 13 and when my mom went to work I took care of my little brother. My mom would probably argue that it wasn’t my responsibility and she never asked me to do it but I somehow felt the need to take on that role. And my brother would always say to me…”you’re not my mother”. I was always a pretty cautious person, still am, and I don’t like to “break the rules”. When there’s a sign that says stay off the grass…I wouldn’t dare step on the grass. And break a law…would never even consider it!
Last year, my word was EASE. And even though the year had some challenges, I dealt with a sense of ease. So this year I needed to shake things up a bit. I need more Fun and more Joy in my life. I decided that Play encompassed all of these.
Play to me, means to lighten up more, have fun, try things I might not normally try, let loose a bit. So with that in mind, I joined a dating site, I bought a hula hoop (which I still have not learned to use) and I vowed to say yes to more play.
Ah yes, the dating site. In several previous posts I stated that I would probably not be writing about dating stories because I met someone who sparked my interest. Well, as quickly as that began it has since ended. There are several reasons but needless to say I am back into the dating pool and we shall see what happens. So I may be sharing some fun dating stories after all.
I also hope to be sharing more PLAY-ful posts.
Did you choose a word of the year? Care to share?
Sometimes you need to take a step back and just breathe it all in.
Don’t focus on the past
Don’t fast forward into the future
Enjoy each moment
There is trust involved in opening up to someone new. Letting them see the good and the bad. Letting them know your hopes and fears and dreams. Trying not to let your past influence your present. Trying to be in the moment and not thinking too far ahead nor looking back at how things unfolded before. Letting go of the fear of getting hurt or worse yet hurting them. Keeping the fears at bay.
Opening up your heart to the possibilities. Letting love in.
Some things cannot be explained logically.
You need to follow your heart, listen to your gut and TRUST that everything is exactly as it is meant to be.
Over the last few weeks, I had a horrible pain in my left leg. I could not figure out the origin point. Acupuncture was helping for short periods of time but wasn’t eliminating it completely. A massage, however, did pinpoint the origin of pain…it was actually my sacrum that was way out of whack. As I was laying on the massage table and feeling some relief, I thought about the sacral chakra and wondered if it had been blocked. I don’t know much about chakras except that they are energy centers in our body. The sacral chakra is about feeling and sexuality and when the energy is flowing you are open to intimacy and passion.
The day after my massage, I had a first date. I was unusually nervous that morning getting ready. I couldn’t stop shaking and I had no idea what was wrong with me. I don’t remember the last time I felt that way. So I headed off a bit early to meet my date…I just couldn’t stay in the house any longer.
I’m not going to give you all the details of the date, just a few highlights. We met at 1pm and parted ways around 9pm with plans already made to meet the next day. We were both like giddy school kids. The conversation was easy and the silences comfortable. And the energy coursing through me never let up. A brush of his hand against mine, and it just shot right through me. That night I barely slept. Logically none of it makes sense. He says it magic and maybe that’s it.
The next evening I talked to a friend who does energy work (he does more than that but its easier to say energy work) who explained that the energy I’m feeling is my chakras opening and the energy is flowing freely. This immediately made sense to me especially after having my massage and thinking about my sacral chakra. He gave me some great ideas on how to calm the energy enough to sleep, which helped immensely.
Now we’re a couple days out from that first date and every time I get a text message or phone call, the energy intensifies…kind of like butterflies in your stomach but different. I can’t explain it and quite honestly I don’t want to. I’m getting used to this new way, this swirling energy, and I like this feeling. I’m taking it one day at a time and enjoying each moment.
I may not be writing much about the online dating world but I have a feeling I’m going to be writing about other more exciting things. Stay tuned…
I have been way too quiet here. I am planning to remedy that…if anyone is still reading. I want, no, need to make a regular practice of writing so here goes. A quick recap of the end of the year and then some things that are happening now.
During the holidays, well the month of December really, I went into a bit of a depression fueled by some anxiety that I didn’t understand. I was also in some physical pain and it got to the point that I just wanted to sit and cry all day. Instead I decided to give acupuncture a try and it has made such a HUGE difference! I am so grateful that it has helped me. I think the holidays can be hard for alot of people and I wish I had written here during that time but I was deep in my muck. Which, looking back, would have been the best time to write.
Now we’re in the New Year…2013. We’re half way through January and I feel like I’ve made some significant shifts already. I’ve been clearing out…literally cleaning out closets, getting rid of old stuff that I no longer wear or fits…still more to do but getting there slowly but surely.
I’ve also been clearing out emotional space. I have let go of a couple of relationships that no longer serve me. I didn’t even realize they were taking up any emotional space until I let go and then felt a lightness. Its amazing what we hold onto physically and emotionally without even realizing it.
Now on to the fun stuff. One of my dear friends called me on a Thursday around 3pm, hopped on a plan and was here a mere 5 hours later. We had a great visit and it made me realize I need to be more spontaneous. She left on Sunday and Monday morning I signed up for an online dating site. Just jumped right in. What does one have to do with the other…oh it was a topic of conversation over the weekend so when she left I decided to just DO IT!
I have been pretty much alone the last 2 years and I feel like I’ve need that time to become comfortable alone. I am now and I actually like being alone and am no longer in the space where I feel like I need a relationship but I would like to share time with someone. So…in this technological age, I asked a couple of friends which site is working for them, and I signed up. Its been an interesting process so far. I’ve gone into this with no expectations which makes it so much easier. There have been some pretty amusing emails, messages, etc. I am thinking about a blog series about it…I just need to figure out how to share some of these messages without sharing too much personal information.
Well that’s a longer post than I had planned but there’s a lot to say. I will be back with my word of the year and hopefully some great stories from the world of online dating. Until then…tell me what you’ve been up to. I’ve missed it here…hopefully you have too!