18 going on 40

He would have been 40 today

Instead he will always be 18

I really can’t even imagine him at 40.  Would he be married with kids?  Would he be divorced?  Would he be a high school teacher or a coach?  Would we still be as close as we were?  Where would he be living?

I don’t usually think about these things.  But today, is his birthdate and those things have come into my mind.  I do miss him every day but today especially so.  Maybe I will get a cake to celebrate or just light a candle.

I will celebrate the fact that he was in my life for 18 years and a part of my heart forever.

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18 Responses to 18 going on 40

  1. Meghan says:

    I hope you do get a cake. And sending you love. xo

  2. Tricia says:

    I have no words. Sending you a hug.

  3. Grace says:

    definitely a cake! and candles and lots of stories about him. lots of love to you and your family. x0x0x0x

  4. Barb says:

    I am proud to share a birthdate with him.

  5. Thea says:

    oh girl-he was so beautiful. My heart is with you today. So glad you had 18 years with him in the flesh and a lifetime in spirit. xoxoxox

  6. Trish says:

    Sending warm thoughts and memories your way!

  7. stef says:

    sending you love and a hug my dear!

  8. Jolie says:

    Much love, dear one.

  9. Michele says:

    I’m thinking of you, your mom and John today. Take care. xoxox

  10. mccabe says:

    i love you more than words can say.
    you are so dear and special.
    wish i was there with you today…
    still want to skype tonight?

  11. amy says:

    oh melissa, this is so beautiful. he was a lovely boy. light a candle to remind you of the light in the world that he was and still is in your heart.

  12. Patty Cunniff says:

    I wonder about those things all the time, but all I really know is that he lives in my heart and through my memories.

  13. mom says:

    It is so hard to believe John would be 40 and still so hard to believe he is not here. I think he would be a teacher with a wife and 3 kids. I have been so blessed to have Missy and John in my life.

  14. Sam says:

    I can’t imagine how hard it is, Melissa, and makes me want to love on my brother a little more. I am sure he smiles whenever you remember his birthday.

  15. Scott Piccola says:

    I would have been calling him up saying “Happy Birthday you old fart” haha

  16. swirly says:

    We were so blessed to be with him while he was here. I love you so much.

  17. amy gretchen says:

    It’s so crazy to read your thoughts and know I could have written this very thing. Birthdays are always hardest for me. Do we all feel this way, that they will forever be that age? My brother will forever be 18 in my eyes as well. Crazy to try to imagine the life he would have had, but comforting to know that he will one day.

    Hugs and kisses. I love you dearly and miss you.
    xo g

  18. Jennifer says:

    sending you love. lots and lots of love

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