Manifesting

Do you ever wake up at 4am with an idea in your head and you must do something about it that.very.minute?  Happened to me this morning.  I just had to grab my computer do a little search, buy a couple website domain names and then after said purchase try to fall back asleep only to question whether I spelled empower with an ‘n’ instead of ‘m’ in the name.  I spelled it correctly.  I’m not sure where I am going with this or what I will do with the web address, but it was one of those things I just HAD to do.  So I will sit with it, although I already have a couple of ideas brewing, and see what comes up.

Now to the original intent of this post.  As you may be aware, I was all set to buy a house that I wrote about here on my blog.  I put it out there, I wrote down what I wanted in the house and then I found a house.  It wasn’t exactly as I pictured it but it was pretty close.  I ‘manifested’ this house, so I moved forward because I got what I wanted I did my due diligence…had inspection after inspection, got windows priced and cabinets priced and even got an architect to draw up some renovations.  Then I started looking at the money flying out the window.  I had a realization…this was too much house for me.  Too much of a project, too much money, too big a house, it had taken on a life of its own and was no longer my project but everyone’s project.  And I backed out.  I did not come by this decision easily.  I was actually quite stressed, but about the wrong things.  I knew deep down that I was making the right decision NOT to buy this house, but I worried that I would disappoint everyone else.  I already had a mortgage in place and the closing set.  What would they think?  She’s a flake, she doesn’t know what she wants…you know all the self doubt that creeps in.  Of course everyone just wanted what was best for me and no one called me a flake…well at least not to my face.

I still need to find a place to live because this apartment is not a good environment.  The slamming doors, barking dogs and screaming neighbors has gotten too much.  So I’ve taken a step back and started looking for rental homes.  I go on craigslist daily and check the realtor websites.  There are a ton of rental homes, most are out of my price range, and the one’s in my price range are typically townhomes or duplexes.  I’ve looked at a couple of those but nothing really inspired me.  So I was talking to my friend Barb the other night (Monday to be exact) and I told her I really wished I could find something with character like my apartment I had in Malvern.  Oh how I loved that apartment.  It was in an old building that used to be a library.  It had super high ceilings, beautiful old (and drafty) windows, an exposed brick wall and the back door had one of those bars to open it…like the ones in schools.  It was charming.  I told her that’s what I was looking for around here.  On Wednesday, one of the Pilates teachers was in the studio and told me about a place for rent down the street from her…which happens to be on the same street I was going to buy the house…just closer into town.  So as soon as I finished at the studio I headed over that way to check out the house and get the phone number.  It was a little cottage with a big yard but I didn’t notice anything too remarkable.  It was in the right location and was cute so I called.

I pulled into the driveway behind the landlord’s car and noticed a little sticker on his car…”Who is John Galt?”.  Well I immediately had a good feeling.  I walked in to the house and it had charm….loads and loads of it.  It also had a bathroom off the kitchen and very little closet space but it had character.  Built in 1902, it has hardwood floors and 2 fireplaces (they don’t work but still), it has a really nice yard and a TIN roof!  I know…you all want to come over on a rainy day and take a nap listening to the rain on the tin roof.  Oh and the woman who owns the house, her brother is the one who is managing it, is a yoga instructor AND artist!  So…needless to say, I told him I want the house.  It is perfect, well ok there is the problem of the closets, and my dining room table will have to be sold, but it really is what I pictured.  I’m waiting for a call today to get confirmation it is mine (fingers crossed), but I’m already thinking about where to place furniture and how to solve the closet situation.

And to think all you have to do is ask for what you want (oh and you are allowed to change your mind).  Who knew?

*********

UPDATE:  The house is MINE May 1st!!!

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8 Responses to Manifesting

  1. buckuplittlecamper says:

    You are a ‘flake’, a snowflake…unique from every point, every side, every angle, every aspect is unique and beautiful!

  2. Barb says:

    I am sooo excited! I can’t wait to hear if you got the house!! And, I can’t wait to hear your 4am idea. I like the sound of it so far 🙂

  3. Kelly Barton says:

    you my girl just continue to amaze me.
    i often wonder – how iwould be if i had no kids,
    no husband to circle around.

    i have never lived in a space on my own. it is
    something that follows me like a bad shadow.
    my parents or my husband. i have never had
    a rental, a cute little studio apt. i tease bryce
    all the time that one summer i am going to
    enroll at iu. for a summer of art and live near
    campus in a little house, sitting on the porch
    at nite drinking cold beer and sneaking a
    cigarette.

    i know that we all think about the “other side”
    what we don’t have seems so much better some
    days.

    i know it has been stressful, but seeing that
    you have found that little spot – makes me
    smile. it sounds perfectly imperfect.

    i love how you just push and never give up.

    good girl.

    pssttt…..i am over here waving, dancing and clapping my hands.

  4. Swirly says:

    You see…this little haven was waiting for you all along. 🙂

  5. i love that i was talking to you on the phone when you pulled up and spied that bumper sticker. i knew it was the right spot for you and i could hear in your voice that you thought so too. i can’t wait to see what you do with your new space and where life takes you from here. you are so courageous to trust your gut. it’s not easy, but listening to our inner voice is all we ever need to do.
    now i just need to learn that for myself…
    love you.

  6. elizabeth says:

    I love this so much— I love how you had the courage to change midstream and STAY with feeling the whole time of this whole shift and not attach to the outcome you thought you had wanted because don’t we HAVE to accept what we asked for and follow through on something or else we will look like we fucked up/made a mistake and NO– no we don’t. The mistake is not shifting and saying, whoa– guess what? Changed my mind– something has shifted . . . I am SO gratified by the strength in this story– you honored your heart every. step. of. the. way. You tuned in and listened– every step of the way– and when it didn’t feel good– you let go and followed what would feel better EVEN when that meant heading into some foggy cloudy time– REALLY brave– really brave.

  7. you are so brave and I love love love that you found a place that makes you happy.
    sending you love and support from the west 🙂

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